Tag: goals

Breast Cancer, Uncategorized

Breast Cancer is a Journey, Not a Destination

jskinnell

I recently read Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis. In it she says that you shouldn’t live your life worrying about what other people think. If you have a goal, reach for that goal. And if you have something to say, say it. I think that’s where I’m coming from with writing this post. Some may like it and some may not. That’s your prerogative.

But what I do hope is that you read these words and get something from them for your own life. We cannot go through life worrying about what other people think. If the past 2 years have taught me nothing else, it has taught me that I have to live my life on my own terms.

So, here goes….

It’s been almost years since I wrote Don’t Wait – Our Full-time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer. At that time I thought my breast cancer journey was over. I’d decided on the quickest and least complicated surgery for the best outcome. I recovered and was on the road three months post surgery.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Surgery was done, but recovery is ongoing. You see, surgery isn’t the end—it’s just the beginning. And while I didn’t need chemo or radiation, my body has been through major trauma. Not to mention the emotional toll cancer can take. The after is worse than the before.

Finding out I had cancer was the easy part.

At least with the before you really don’t know what to expect. You’re kind of blissfully ignorant when it comes to the after.

I was so busy before surgery trying to figure everything out from treatment options to logistics—including where we would stay. Living in an RV while going through this added a whole new dimension. I didn’t have time to think about what such a drastic surgery would do to my body. Having a double mastectomy means amputating two body parts. And not having reconstruction means there is really nothing there anymore. In medical terms I had a bilateral mastectomy with Aesthetic Flat Closure.

Think about that!

As with any body part there are nerves and muscles involved. Two years out and I still have random nerve pain. The incision healed, but the scar remains. A daily reminder of what I went through.

Then there is the post-surgery treatment. Like I said, I was fortunate to not need chemo or radiation. However, the medication I am on that will, hopefully, keep the cancer from showing up somewhere else in my body comes with its own set of issues.

I can deal with the side effects if it means keeping the cancer from returning. However, this means waking up daily to joint pain in my hands, knees and elbows. It goes away as I move, but it’s still an annoying way to wake up every day. Fatigue hits me at random times. Not the kind where I feel like a need a nap, but the kind that tells me it’s time to take a break.

But even with these side effects, I would still not change a thing. Cancer took something from me, but it also gave me so much more.

What!?

Yes, that’s right. I got something from having breast cancer that I didn’t see coming.

I now have a new appreciation for the time God has given me. I found my cancer early, and that is because God was nudging me to get checked out earlier than I was scheduled to. This was his way of telling me he had more in store for me.

I now enjoy every day more. I’m excited for each day and what He has planned for me. I am very fortunate that my husband and I chose the full-time RV life before I was diagnosed. Every new day is an adventure as we travel to new places. It’s not always easy, but I truly believe this has helped me deal with my diagnosis. I had a goal and I told my surgeon I didn’t have time for breast cancer. I met that goal!

Joy.

Such a simple three-letter word, but it means so much more now than before I had breast cancer. As I go through each day I find joy. That is so uplifting. That small word is so impactful.

Friendship.

This is something I never expected. I am now friends with so many people I wouldn’t have even met if I hadn’t been diagnosed. And that includes my surgeons, Dr. Mark Cripe and Dr. Deepa Halaharvi! We’ve had wine together after recording The Breast Cancer Podcast, which Dr. Halaharvi is the host. Not too many people can say they’ve had a glass of wine with their doctors.

In fact, Dr. Halaharvi asked me to help her bring her own story to print, and in April Their Legacy, Their Light She Carries was published. I learned so much from her through this process about being a breast cancer survivor. You see, she is not only a breast surgeon, she is a 10-year survivor and thriver.

Live your best life and pursue your dreams and goals.

Deepa taught me through her book and the podcast how, as a survivor, you can live your best life after breast cancer. Cancer is just a small part of my life. I can choose to let it run my life, or I can choose to let it be the “pothole in our RV travel road” that I named it in my book.

When I thought about writing this blog post, I was hesitant. Everyone tells me how strong I am and how much of an inspiration I am for writing Don’t Wait and sharing my story. I worried about telling what my reality is every morning and dealing with the side effects. Would I come across as complaining? Am I a fraud because I’m admitting that it’s not always a piece of cake?

I know I don’t have it nearly as bad as so many women who’ve needed chemo, radiation, and dealt with so much more than me. In fact, in my book I even say that I felt like it was almost too easy. Diagnosed in May, surgery in July, and back on the road in October. Now I know I’m going through my own version of “hard”. It’s all relative.

No matter what you are going through in your own life, my hope for you is that you find joy in every day, friends to last a lifetime, and that you live your best life.

Here are the links referenced above:

Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer

Their Legacy, Their Light She Carries by Dr. Deepa Halaharvi

The Breast Cancer Podcast with Dr. Deepa Halaharvi is available wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube

Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis is available on Amazon and booksellers everywhere

Inspirational Writings, Uncategorized

What 2023 Taught Me

jskinnell

As 2023 comes to a close, I thought I’d reflect on what I learned this year.

1. No matter how much you plan, God is ready to give you a new plan.

If you’ve followed me on social media, then you know that my husband and I live full-time in an RV. As a result, we plan our stays about a year out.

Such was the case in 2023, but God had other plans.

2. Be flexible.

As a result of Number 1, I learned quickly that you need to be flexible. Most of the time things aren’t going to go the way you planned, so instead of driving yourself crazy, be ready to be flexible.

3. Besides family, friends are like gold.

Cherish your family and friends. When you need them the most, they’ll be there for you in a heartbeat.

4. Don’t second-guess yourself.

Go with your gut. I think this is God’s way of telling you this is the path he wants you to take.

There were only two times in my life when God’s nudge was enough to push me over. One was is 2016, and you can read about it here, and the other was in 2023. Listen!

If I hadn’t listened to that little voice (aka God) telling me to get my mammogram five months early, I wouldn’t have had the awesome medical team I had, nor would I have had the successful outcome I had.

5. Have goals.

Whether they are small or large, goals are important. My husband and I had a goal of attending the Tournament of Roses Parade Festivities at the end of 2023. This goal weighed heavily in my decisions during my treatment and recovery.

Conclusion

Throughout this year and especially during my breast cancer journey, these five things got me through 2023.

Inspirational Writings

What’s in Your Book of Life?

jskinnell

NOTE: I wrote this originally in July of 2016 on my other blog site, The Rambling Quilter, and thought it was interesting that it is still relevant today. This isn’t meant to be a religious discussion—more of something for you to ponder as you live your life. What is in your Book of Life? How can you make your Book of Life more of what you’d like your life to be? Are you waiting until “the right time” to do something or see something or go somewhere you’ve always wanted?

If so, this post may make you rethink that decision to wait. We aren’t guaranteed the next minute, let alone “the right time”. Make sure your Book of Life is full of everything you’ve wanted to experience.

What would your Book of Life be like?

From The Rambling Quilter, July 2016

Recently I saw a show about how the Smithsonian Museum is restoring the Jefferson Bible. I had not heard of the Jefferson Bible, and I found this program completely fascinating. Jefferson painstakingly cut apart bibles in several different languages to create his version of Jesus’ life without all the miracles and his ascension.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the Book of Life were like that—only in reverse? We could keep all the happy and wonderful parts and discard all the bad.

I had a chance meeting with my aunt and uncle at Panera for breakfast. I’ll never forget the huge hug she gave me or her telling me that she wanted all her nieces and nephews to connect. It never crossed our mind that she’d pass away after a tragic car accident a couple of weeks later.

She got her wish. For two days we gathered, reminiscing about growing up with our beloved aunt and catching up on what our families were doing. Many of us realized that we hadn’t seen each other in twenty years or more. We all had families of our own and time really got away from us. It was so nice reconnecting and remembering that my family was so much bigger than just those I spent the most time with. That part I would keep in my Book of Life.

At the same time, though, we were saying goodbye to an aunt we all truly loved. I saw my mom, aunt, and uncle say goodbye to their baby sister. I saw my three cousins say goodbye to their mom. And I saw my uncle say goodbye to the love of his life of forty years. I would love to cut this part out of my Book of Life.

There are so many good things going on in the world that are too often overshadowed by events we have absolutely no control over.

I realize that it is totally unrealistic to have a Book of Life that is only happy, wonderful events. We’ve all heard that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Well, right now I’d say he must think we are some pretty strong people because he’s giving us a lot.

Even though my Book of Life is still overflowing with wonderful moments, these are the occasional events that God thinks I can handle that really test me.

My aunt’s family’s wish in lieu of flowers was that we hug our loved ones every day. As we witnessed, life is short and you just don’t know when it will be the last page of your own personal Book of Life.

As I said before, I wrote this back in 2016 right after my beloved aunt’s funeral. Since then, I’ve written six novels, and many blog posts, and my husband and I have sold our home and begun traveling the country in our RV. We work from the road and do, see, and go everywhere we can to experience as much as we can. We chose NOT to wait until “the right time.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts. My hope is this post inspires you to experience something new, even if it’s right outside your front door.

How will your Book of Life read? Make it amazing!

frozen wave against sunlight
Inspirational Writings

Don’t Ignore God’s Nudge

jskinnell

We’ve all had them. You know the ones. Those times we feel compelled to do something or call someone, and we don’t understand why. I call them “God’s Nudges,” and I never took them seriously until five years ago this week.

This particular nudge was one of the most significant nudges I’d ever received, and it made me see life in a whole new way. All because God nudged me to go to Panera for a free bagel. This may sound inconsequential, but trust me, it was a pretty big nudge in my life.

I was so moved about all that had happened in that short two-week span in July five years ago that I wrote a post about it. Once again, I feel the nudge to share this post so that others may act when God nudges them.

Read on, and you’ll see what I mean.

We’ve all heard about intuition and “just having that feeling.” Sometimes we act on this, but more often than not, we ignore it. Then later, we realize we should not have done that because God was trying to tell us something.

Two weeks ago, my husband and I were visiting our family in Ohio. Our extended family lives in Northeast Ohio, so we stopped to see them for a few days before heading down to Columbus to see our daughter and son-in-law. Our parents live about forty-five minutes apart, so we usually spent time with each of them individually.

While I was staying with my parents, I woke up Friday morning to find an email from Panera Bread that I could get a free bagel every day for the entire month of July.  Awesome!  I’d have to take advantage of that when I got back home.

However, as I was getting ready for the day, I kept having “the feeling” that I needed to go to Panera that morning.  My mom had Cheerios and other things I could have had for breakfast, but I felt God “nudging” me toward coffee and my free bagel.  My mom put in an order for a bear claw and cinnamon roll, and off I went to Panera.

I walked into the restaurant and was wonderfully surprised to see my aunt and uncle standing there ordering their breakfast. (I must say here that when we make our quick trips to Ohio, we don’t have the time to see everyone, and this was one of those times.) I called my mom and told her that their breakfast delivery would be a little late because I was going to stay and have breakfast with my aunt and uncle. I hadn’t seen them since my daughter’s wedding in February 2015.

We had a wonderful hour of catching up on how everyone was and what everyone was doing. My uncle has been researching our genealogy and told me we actually had relatives in Canada and Scotland. They talked of how they would like to make a trip to Scotland to meet them someday.  

My aunt had worked for Avon Book Publishing, so I told her how I’ve started writing my first novel. She said most of her contacts were probably retired, but if I needed an editor, she’d be happy to take a look at my book. We talked about how self-publishing was the way to go now, and again she offered her assistance in any way she could to make my dream a reality.

After we finished our breakfast, we had hugs all around and promised to see each other again when we went up to Ohio, or they came down our way.

Fast forward to yesterday, and I didn’t know how much God’s nudge meant until the phone call I received from my mom last night. My aunt passed away yesterday in a car accident.  As I am writing this, I still cannot believe it. We will soon be heading back to Ohio to say goodbye to my aunt and to support my uncle and three cousins left behind. No amount of comfort and words can ease their pain, but we will all gather around them and support them as best we can.

My aunt was the youngest of six children. Two of my uncles had already passed, and she said to me on that Friday that she felt it would be her responsibility to look after all of us cousins and keep us in contact with each other as her older siblings began to pass. I know that most of us will be together to say goodbye to her this week, but I’m sure this “contact” is not what she had in mind.

So, for now, I hold on to the fact that if God had not “nudged” me to go to Panera that day, I would not have had a wonderful breakfast with my aunt and uncle. Rest in Peace, Aunt Jetta, until we meet again.

As you can see, this was a huge nudge that God gave me, even though it didn’t feel like it at the time. If I hadn’t followed through, I would have missed out on that special breakfast with my aunt and uncle.

July 12, 2021, will mark five years since her passing. On the day of her funeral, twenty of the twenty-one cousins were there. She met her goal, just not in the way she’d planned.

I have since gone to complete my Hope Springs Romance Series, and I am now experiencing the nudge from God to alter my plan once again. I’m feeling called to help other up-and-coming authors realize their dream of becoming an indie author through my business, JLSkinnell Editing & Proofing.

Don’t ignore God’s nudges. He does this for a reason.