Tag: love

Breast Cancer, Uncategorized

Rescources for Breast Cancer Patients and Their Support System

jskinnell

This is the third blog post in my Breast Cancer series and originally supposed to be a day in the life post. However, as I began writing about my day, I realized that no two breast cancer patients have the same kind of day. Instead of writing about my day, I thought I would share some important resources for breast cancer patients and their support system going through their own journey.

Podcasts

There are many podcasts out there for breast cancer patients. These are the ones I’ve found most informative.

The Breast Cancer Podcast

Dr. Deepa Halaharvi is the host of The Breast Cancer Podcast. Her podcasts feature experts in the field, as well as patients who tell their own stories.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-breast-cancer-podcast/id1565403179

Breast Case Scenario

Kris and Cass are both breast cancer survivors. Their podcasts are informative and leave the listener wanting to hear more. They aren’t afraid to inject some humor into their podcasts, with stories we can all relate to.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/breast-case-scenario/id1744046415

Websites/Blogs

BreastCancer.Org

BreastCancer.org is full of important, and reliable, information to help you, the patient, make an informed decision about your breast health and breast cancer.

https://www.breastcancer.org/

Susan G. Komen

The Susan G. Komen organization has played a crucial role in improving the life expectancy of breast cancer patients through research and funding. Their website if full of great information about diagnosis and treatment options as well as statistics that help the patient make an informed decision.

https://www.komen.org/

National Breast Cancer Foundation

The National Breast Cancer Foundation provides early detection screenings, education, and support to those who need it.

https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

In addition to these great resources, there are many books from patients and doctors alike, too many to list here.

However, if you’d like a book written from the patient’s perspective that doesn’t sugarcoat anything, check out my book below.

Whatever you do, don’t wait to get your yearly mammogram and do your monthly checks!

Other posts in this series

A letter from the Breast Cancer Patient to the Breast Surgeon
A Letter to Family and Friends from Us, The Breast Cancer Patients

My Hope for You

As I’ve continued my writing career over the years, I’ve learned so much about myself and how strong I am. As a breast cancer survivor, I found my purpose. Not only is it to write contemporary romance and cozy mysteries, but it is also to write my breast cancer story and share with others the importance of having a medical home base, especially if you are an RVer. My hope for you is that you read my writings and learn something you can apply to your own life.

my amazon author page
Breast Cancer, Uncategorized

A Letter to Family and Friends from Us, The Breast Cancer Patients

jskinnell

I am a breast cancer survivor and author of “Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer”. I felt compelled to write a series of blog posts about the breast cancer journey from the patient’s perspective. I’m tackling topics I feel are important to the breast cancer patient. From the breast surgeon, to well-meaning friends and family, to a day in the life of a breast cancer survivor (me), I want to shed light on the reality of breast cancer. If you missed my Letter from the Breast Cancer Patient to the Breast Surgeon, you can find it here.

Dear family and friends,

 We know you mean well, but there are just some things that are better left unsaid or at least thought about first when speaking your loved one who is dealing breast cancer.

There are also topics we would really like to discuss, but you are uncomfortable talking about. I get that. It can be uncomfortable. But guess what, having breast cancer isn’t comfortable either.

Keep reading because we also have a list of things you can do to help us.

Here is a list of things you should not say to the breast cancer patient

  • Did you get breast cancer from the Covid vaccine? This was asked of me by two people, and the answer is no! Breast cancer has been around a lot longer than the Covid vaccine.
  • How are you doing? Okay, I get that you’re being polite by asking a breast cancer patient this question. However, do you really want to know the answer? Because I’m going to guess that you want us to say “I’m fine” when we’re really not. The response we want to say is, “I’m doing well aside from the side effects of the drug I’m taking that has me in menopause for another 5 years at least. And hopefully this drug is killing any cancer cells that may be floating around in my body looking for a new home to try and kill me.”
  • You’ve recovered from surgery to remove the tumor and you’re cured. Celebrate that you’re done with cancer. I’m going to refer you to the answer above for this one because I’m not done.
  • You don’t even look like you’ve been sick. Yeah, some of us don’t look like we’ve been sick, that’s true. See, we’re the “lucky ones” who didn’t lose their hair because of chemo. Again, I’ll refer you to the answer for the second one above. Also, I have a scar from one armpit to the other that will prove otherwise.
  • Your breast cancer is hard on me, and I’m having a hard time supporting you. I’m sorry, it’s hard on you? What do you think the person with cancer is going through?
  • As far as cancer goes, this is a good one to get. Just to be clear, there are no good cancers.
  • When someone tells you they have cancer, please do not list everyone you know who has ever had cancer. For once, it should be about the person telling you they have cancer, not about everyone else.
  • What do you think you did to cause your cancer? Seriously, never ask a breast cancer patient this.
  • Please do not tell your loved one who is going through breast cancer horror stories of others “you know” who’ve had breast cancer. This is neither wanted nor helpful.
  • Please do not offer advice about herbal supplements, foods, or other remedies that “will cure your cancer”. Not helpful.
  • I understand what you’re going through. Unless you’ve been diagnosed, had treatment, surgery, etc., you don’t know how we feel.
  • This one comes from a close friend whose cancer has spread to her bones and she is now terminal. “People should let a cancer patient with terminal diagnosis talk about death.  All I get from 2 close girlfriends and my sister are, ‘Why are you talking about that, you’re going to live a long time’. … Well I’ve got a 5 yr average life expectancy and I’m year 2.  ‘Well who’s counting?’.  I AM!   I just wish these people would let us talk!”

Basically, a woman diagnosed with breast cancer feels like she’s just been hit by a truck. This was totally unexpected, and the idea of having to make the tough decisions regarding surgery and treatment is exhausting. We don’t want pity, but we do want you to be caring, compassionate, and sensitive.

Here are some ways you can help

  • What are you hungry for? This is especially for during treatment/surgery/recovery.  An offer to bring dinner is always helpful.
  • Listen and do not interrupt. Sometimes we just need to vent and get it out of our head.
  • As with the first one, offer to bring food, dining gift cards, and chocolate—lots of chocolate!
  • Offer to help by cleaning the house, running errands, taking them to appointments. It takes quite a while for a breast cancer patient to regain their strength and energy.
  • Can I add you to my prayer chain list? Prayer can be powerful, and even the thought of someone caring enough to add a patient to their prayer chain can be uplifting.
  • Can I sit with you during your treatment? This is especially true for someone going through chemo treatments which can be upwards of 8 hours.
  • Can I tend to your garden, mow your lawn, etc? It’s bad enough that the patient is going through breast cancer, if they are an avid gardener and see their garden start to deteriorate, that can have a negative effect on them emotionally. Seeing their garden thriving can also raise their spirits.
  • Can I make a library run for you? As patients go through treatment, surgery, and recovery, they have a lot of empty time on their hands. A good book can help pass the time.
  • Offer to give the primary caregiver a break. At some point in the process every breast cancer patient requires help and emotional support. This usually comes from their primary caregiver. Offering to help for even a few hours gives the caregiver time to get reenergized so they can be the best caregiver they can be.

As you can see, it takes a lot to get a breast cancer patient from diagnosis through surgery, treatment, and into recovery mode. Care, compassion, and sensitivity are so important to a successful emotional, physical, and mental outcome for us.

Love,

Your family member or friend with breast cancer.

Additional Resources

“Don’t Wait”: A story of a breast cancer survivor’s courage to follow her heart and intuition.
Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer
Breast Cancer, Uncategorized

A letter from the Breast Cancer Patient to the Breast Surgeon

jskinnell

I am a breast cancer survivor and author of “Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer”. I felt compelled to write a series of blog posts about the breast cancer journey from the patient’s perspective. Over the next few posts I’ll be tackling topics I feel are important to the breast cancer patient. From the breast surgeon, to well-meaning friends and family, to a day in the life of a breast cancer survivor (me), I want to shed light on the reality of breast cancer. Just because I’ve recovered from surgery, that doesn’t mean I’m done. First up is this letter to the breast surgeon.

This letter to the surgeon isn’t based on my experience, because I was truly blessed to have an amazing surgeon and team. No, this letter is in response to so many who have not been so blessed. A good doctor/patient relationship is so important and so is empathy.

Dear Breast Surgeon,

Please try to remember that I am scared. I’ve just gone through my regular mammogram and received the call to do the follow-up. After the follow-up, the radiologist wanted to do an ultrasound.

The nurse navigator said that based on the ultrasound, I needed to come back for a biopsy and to meet with you, the breast surgeon.

My family and I are scared. We know nothing about breast cancer, the type, all the different acronyms that come with it, the kind of surgery that I need to choose—none of it. All we know is that I’ll be having a biopsy after our visit.

You are the person with all the answers to questions we don’t even know to ask yet. You are also the person I am supposed to trust with my life if I require surgery.

At this stage, I need you to be caring and compassionate. I haven’t even met you yet, but that is what I need you to be as I sit on the exam table waiting for you to do a very personal exam to see if you can feel the small tumor that the radiologist saw on my imaging.

What I want is for you to treat me like a person and not a number. I’m sure you’ve had many patients, and we are all different. But I can tell you this, we all want you to show us empathy—because we are all scared.

This may seem like an everyday occurrence to you, doctor. But it’s not for us— your patients. We are terrified that the biopsy results will come back positive for some type of cancer that we don’t yet understand.

Then, when this does indeed happen, we are told not to google anything. So we don’t. We have our list of questions ready when you call to tell us the results. Because, for some of us, we find out the results on our patient portal before you call us.

What we expect from you is that you will take the time, either by phone or during our surgical consult, to answer them. Please remember—we are terrified. You are the person who can calm our fears, answer our questions, and explain our options in terms we can understand.

Most of all—respect our treatment options and decisions. If we choose to have a bilateral mastectomy with aesthetic flat closure even if we have only one small tumor, respect our decision.

And here’s why. By now, I would hope that you would know enough about me, the patient, to know how I want to live my life, what my goals are, and what is important to me. See, these are the questions you should be asking me.

Why should you, the doctor, listen to me, the patient? After all, I’m not the one who spent years in medical school. I am, however, the one who is coming to you because of your years in medical school and training. My hope is that during those years, you also had training on how to be caring and compassionate.

The doctor/patient relationship is so important to the patient. I would hope it is important to the doctor as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

Sincerely,

The patient you haven’t yet met

Additional Resources

“Don’t Wait”: A story of a breast cancer survivor’s courage to follow her heart and intuition.
Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer
red rose flowers bouquet on white surface beside spring book with click pen and cup of cofffee
Inspirational Writings, Uncategorized

Empower Your Life: My Writing Process and Breast Cancer Journey/Interview with Kacey Sophia

jskinnell

I had the pleasure of doing an Instagram Live with Kacey Sophia this week. We talked all about my writing process, my contemporary romance series, and how I came to write Don’t Wait – Our Full-time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer.

I loved using this platform to share my message of Don’t Wait to enhance, change, and maybe even save your life.

Give it a watch and then click on the link below to check out all 7 books I currently have available on Amazon Kindle Unlimited, ebook, and paperback.

Quick Link to My Books On Amazon

Inspirational Writings

What’s in Your Book of Life?

jskinnell

NOTE: I wrote this originally in July of 2016 on my other blog site, The Rambling Quilter, and thought it was interesting that it is still relevant today. This isn’t meant to be a religious discussion—more of something for you to ponder as you live your life. What is in your Book of Life? How can you make your Book of Life more of what you’d like your life to be? Are you waiting until “the right time” to do something or see something or go somewhere you’ve always wanted?

If so, this post may make you rethink that decision to wait. We aren’t guaranteed the next minute, let alone “the right time”. Make sure your Book of Life is full of everything you’ve wanted to experience.

What would your Book of Life be like?

From The Rambling Quilter, July 2016

Recently I saw a show about how the Smithsonian Museum is restoring the Jefferson Bible. I had not heard of the Jefferson Bible, and I found this program completely fascinating. Jefferson painstakingly cut apart bibles in several different languages to create his version of Jesus’ life without all the miracles and his ascension.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the Book of Life were like that—only in reverse? We could keep all the happy and wonderful parts and discard all the bad.

I had a chance meeting with my aunt and uncle at Panera for breakfast. I’ll never forget the huge hug she gave me or her telling me that she wanted all her nieces and nephews to connect. It never crossed our mind that she’d pass away after a tragic car accident a couple of weeks later.

She got her wish. For two days we gathered, reminiscing about growing up with our beloved aunt and catching up on what our families were doing. Many of us realized that we hadn’t seen each other in twenty years or more. We all had families of our own and time really got away from us. It was so nice reconnecting and remembering that my family was so much bigger than just those I spent the most time with. That part I would keep in my Book of Life.

At the same time, though, we were saying goodbye to an aunt we all truly loved. I saw my mom, aunt, and uncle say goodbye to their baby sister. I saw my three cousins say goodbye to their mom. And I saw my uncle say goodbye to the love of his life of forty years. I would love to cut this part out of my Book of Life.

There are so many good things going on in the world that are too often overshadowed by events we have absolutely no control over.

I realize that it is totally unrealistic to have a Book of Life that is only happy, wonderful events. We’ve all heard that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Well, right now I’d say he must think we are some pretty strong people because he’s giving us a lot.

Even though my Book of Life is still overflowing with wonderful moments, these are the occasional events that God thinks I can handle that really test me.

My aunt’s family’s wish in lieu of flowers was that we hug our loved ones every day. As we witnessed, life is short and you just don’t know when it will be the last page of your own personal Book of Life.

As I said before, I wrote this back in 2016 right after my beloved aunt’s funeral. Since then, I’ve written six novels, and many blog posts, and my husband and I have sold our home and begun traveling the country in our RV. We work from the road and do, see, and go everywhere we can to experience as much as we can. We chose NOT to wait until “the right time.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts. My hope is this post inspires you to experience something new, even if it’s right outside your front door.

How will your Book of Life read? Make it amazing!

christmas tree with baubles
Inspirational Writings

Christmas Memories & That Little Silver Tree

jskinnell
Grandma Myrt’s Silver Tree
Photo Cred Ani Fete

What holiday memory do you cherish most? At this time of year, more than at any other time, we reach for those memories like a lifeline to the past, to bring us joy, comfort, and peace. This is the story of one of my favorite memories.

My cousin, Ani, recently posted this picture of one of my Grandma Myrt’s trees. Grandma Myrt had two Christmas trees—a traditional one and a definitely non-traditional tree.

She collected many blue and silver beer cans from my relatives, and along with some ribbon, decorated a tree that was quite memorable.

For many years, this metallic silver tree stood proudly in the corner of her small kitchen decorated with these beer cans, large pretzels, and at times red ribbon for a touch of color.

While it wasn’t the “normal” tree, it was uniquely Grandma Myrt.

It wasn’t the tree that we all gathered around to sing Christmas carols while Grandma played her organ, and it wasn’t the tree under which we put all our gift exchange presents. But this little tree was as unique and memorable as Grandma herself. It was one of a kind.

And while the tree itself was memorable, it was what happened one Christmas that I remember most.

One of the grandchildren, I’m not sure which, but it was one of the younger ones, decided to get a closer look at one of the ornaments on the tree. Of course, the tree wasn’t giving up its decoration easily, and the entire tree toppled over. The force of the fall caused the aluminum cans to fall off and go rolling across Grandma’s old linoleum floor.

Quite the noise, to be sure!

And quite memorable.

Decades have passed, and I can’t even remember what gifts I received that year, but this memory is still vivid, just like it was yesterday.

I hope you make a special memory this holiday season that you’ll remember for years to come.

Hope Springs Romance Series, Uncategorized

A Grandmother’s Wish

jskinnell

I’m excited to announce that the final book in my Hope Springs Romance Series, A Grandmother’s Wish, is available on Amazon! Click on the link below to purchase, or go to my Amazon Author Page for all the details.

College graduate Missy Macintire is ready to advance her career from store manager to store owner. When her current employer presents her with the opportunity to become a partner in her consignment business, Missy is ecstatic, especially since it will mean having a store of her own in the historic Baxter building.

Cooper Landers is a recent transplant from the city to the small town of Hope Springs. His employer, Frederick Development Inc., has relocated to this sleepy town in the country, and Cooper is happy for the chance to move out of the city. When his boss puts him in charge of the Baxter building project, Cooper is happy to do it. During the renovation, however, he realizes there is more to his move to Hope Springs than he ever bargained for.

Missy is falling hard and fast for Cooper, but she has this nagging feeling that he is keeping something from her. While trying to sort out a series of mysterious events happening at his condo and the Baxter building, Cooper realizes he has fallen in love with Missy.

With the threat of betrayal and the project (and romance) falling apart, it’s up to Rosie Macintire and the Advice Quilting Bee to bring this latest couple together in A Grandmother’s Wish.

I truly enjoyed creating this series, and while I will miss the characters I’ve given life to, they will forever be in my heart. I hope you enjoy this final book as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Love and Happy Reading,

Jennifer

Jennifer Skinnell is the author of the Hope Springs Romance Series available on Amazon. She is also a travel blogger, and you can find out about her travels on The Rambling Quilter

Hope Springs Romance Series, Uncategorized

The Inn at Hope Springs

jskinnell

So thrilled to announce that the fourth book in my Hope Springs Romance Series, The Inn at Hope Springs is now available for purchase on Amazon! Click here for all the details or the link below to purchase!

What’s it about?!

Luann Freeman’s dream of moving back to her hometown of Hope Springs and opening her own bed and breakfast is finally coming to fruition. However, the dilapidated Victorian she and her partners purchased needs a major overhaul.

Joshua Burke has been tasked with overseeing the work of transforming the Victorian into The Inn at Hope Springs. He has never lived in a small town and is only in Hope Springs because he works for Frederick Development Inc.

While working to transform the inn, Luann and Joshua are not on the same page about anything. Joshua was raised with a domineering father, and cannot get past the idea of a woman on his job site, let alone owning her own business. Luann was raised, like most of the women of Hope Springs, to be an independent, strong, successful businesswoman. This is hardly a match made in heaven!

As the two continue to work on the inn, however, their relationship begins to grow. When a secret from Joshua’s past threatens to wreck everything, it’s up to the ladies of the Advice Quilting Bee, along with a nosy spirit, to bring this couple together in The Inn at Hope Springs.

I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Love and Happy Reading,

Jennifer

Jennifer Skinnell is the author of the Hope Springs Romance Series available on Amazon. She is also a travel blogger, and you can find out about her travels on The Rambling Quilter

Uncategorized

Exciting News!

jskinnell

Three announcements to share!!

  1. Book Sale and Signing:   I’ll have copies of the first three installments in my Hope Springs Romance Series to purchase at the Gift Shop. 

    WMCA Gift Shop 2nd Annual Book Signing Event
    Featuring Local Authors
    Pam Webber, Jennifer Skinnell, Jay Foreman
    Friday, October 11, 2019
    11am-2pm
    North Tower Lobby

    Lite refreshments included

    Proceeds Benefit the Cancer Center

  2.  Book Sale and Signing:

Winchester Book Gallery
7 North Loudoun Street
Winchester, VA
Saturday, November 2, 2019
11am – 1pm

I’ll have copies of the first three installments my Hope Springs Romance Series, PLUS . .

3. New Release!!

The Inn at Hope Springs will be available by the end of October!! I’m so excited to share with you the fourth installment of my Hope Springs Romance Series. More info coming on the exact release date. I will DEFINITELY have copies available for purchase at my November signing!!

Jennifer Skinnell is the author of the Hope Springs Romance Series available on Amazon here.

Check out her travel blog, The Rambling Quilter, here.

 

Uncategorized

One Sweet Development Re-release with New Content

jskinnell

So excited to announce the re-release of One Sweet Development with a new look and added content!

The ebook is now available for pre-order on Amazon following the link below. The paper book will be available on 2/23.

Buy One Sweet Development Here!

Jennifer Skinnell is the author of the Hope Springs Romance Series available on Amazon.