Tag: writing

Inspirational Writings, Uncategorized

How Strong is Your Personal Root Structure?

jskinnell

We recently traveled through the Pacific Northwest and one thing I noticed was that the trees were massive. Not tree trunk massive, but massively tall. It got me thinking about how strong their root structure and core must be to withstand hundreds of years of wind, rain, and anything else Mother Nature throws at them.

Much like these trees, we need a strong root structure. Yes, a strong physical core is essential, but our root structure is more than that. We have so much thrown at us on a daily basis, and for some it is live changing. We need strong roots to withstand it all.

Our roots ground us and help us to have belief in our community, family, and ourselves. Our roots help us to build a strong spiritual, emotional, medical, and physical core. To be honest, that last one is probably the hardest for me!

I found out how strong my root system was I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023. Without my strong support system, it would have been difficult for me to handle my diagnosis on my own. Even the smallest gesture such as a card or post of encouragement helped me to increase my strength.

I leaned heavily on my spiritual roots to understand why I was chosen to get breast cancer, and why now. I realized it was so that I could share my story and encourage others to keep up with their medical screenings.

My emotional roots helped me to deal with so much. I relied on my strength to get me through all the decision-making, planning, and thoughts going through my head as I dealt with the direction I wanted to go. I wanted to choose the direction that would allow me to live my life on my terms. I wanted to be able to get back to living my full-time RV life as quickly as possible. Those were the two things that were the most important to me.

That led to my medical roots. I was fortunate to have family with experience in the medical field who could guide me. I was also fortunate to have a medical team full of empathetic medical professionals who helped to me understand all my options while allowing me to make the final decision. This meant the world.

No matter what we face in life, this is true—we need to have a strong root structure and a strong physical, emotional, spiritual and medical core.

How strong is your root structure?

My Hope for You

As I’ve continued my writing career over the years, I’ve learned so much about myself and how strong I am. As a breast cancer survivor, I found my purpose. Not only is it to write contemporary romance and cozy mysteries, but it is also to write my breast cancer story and share with others the importance of having a medical home base, especially if you are an RVer. My hope for you is that you read my writings and learn something you can apply to your own life.

my amazon author page

Palm Shores RV Resort Mystery Series, Uncategorized

Death on the Pickleball Court is now available!!

jskinnell

Welcome to Palm Shores RV Resort! Fun and sun with a small-town atmosphere.

At least until another murder happens!

The residents of Palm Shores are finally settling into life in their winter retreat after the unfortunate demise of one of their residents at the hands of another. Activities are in full swing, and the resident pickleball expert, Benjamin Forester, has a booming business teaching pickleball to the female residents of Palm Shores.

When Benjamin ends up dead on the court, a long list of suspects begins to emerge.

As activities director, Maggie Dunham takes the murder of one of her employees very seriously. She knows Benjamin is also known as the resort Casanova, but would that be a reason to kill him?

Deputy Sheriff Kyle Wilson knows that trying to tell Maggie to stay out of his investigation is a complete waste of time. However, she does seem to find clues that he can use, even if she doesn’t realize it.

Besides, Maggie has a couple of investigative tools Kyle doesn’t have:

·      A gossipy group of ladies known as the Palm Shores Walkers; and

·      Mitzi, the psychic wonder dog.

As their relationship continues to grow, Maggie and Kyle work to solve this latest murder and calm the fears of the residents of Palm Shores. They soon find out that the most obvious suspect isn’t the real killer.

Take a seat at the Tiki Bar, have a Snowbird Sunrise, and watch the action unfold in Death on the Pickleball Court.

Click on the image to purchase on Amazon.

My Hope for You

As I’ve continued my writing career over the years, I’ve learned so much about myself and how strong I am. As a breast cancer survivor, I found my purpose. Not only is it to write contemporary romance and cozy mysteries, but it is also to write my breast cancer story and share with others the importance of having a medical home base, especially if you are an RVer. My hope for you is that you read my writings and learn something you can apply to your own life.

my amazon author page
Breast Cancer, Uncategorized

Rescources for Breast Cancer Patients and Their Support System

jskinnell

This is the third blog post in my Breast Cancer series and originally supposed to be a day in the life post. However, as I began writing about my day, I realized that no two breast cancer patients have the same kind of day. Instead of writing about my day, I thought I would share some important resources for breast cancer patients and their support system going through their own journey.

Podcasts

There are many podcasts out there for breast cancer patients. These are the ones I’ve found most informative.

The Breast Cancer Podcast

Dr. Deepa Halaharvi is the host of The Breast Cancer Podcast. Her podcasts feature experts in the field, as well as patients who tell their own stories.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-breast-cancer-podcast/id1565403179

Breast Case Scenario

Kris and Cass are both breast cancer survivors. Their podcasts are informative and leave the listener wanting to hear more. They aren’t afraid to inject some humor into their podcasts, with stories we can all relate to.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/breast-case-scenario/id1744046415

Websites/Blogs

BreastCancer.Org

BreastCancer.org is full of important, and reliable, information to help you, the patient, make an informed decision about your breast health and breast cancer.

https://www.breastcancer.org/

Susan G. Komen

The Susan G. Komen organization has played a crucial role in improving the life expectancy of breast cancer patients through research and funding. Their website if full of great information about diagnosis and treatment options as well as statistics that help the patient make an informed decision.

https://www.komen.org/

National Breast Cancer Foundation

The National Breast Cancer Foundation provides early detection screenings, education, and support to those who need it.

https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

In addition to these great resources, there are many books from patients and doctors alike, too many to list here.

However, if you’d like a book written from the patient’s perspective that doesn’t sugarcoat anything, check out my book below.

Whatever you do, don’t wait to get your yearly mammogram and do your monthly checks!

Other posts in this series

A letter from the Breast Cancer Patient to the Breast Surgeon
A Letter to Family and Friends from Us, The Breast Cancer Patients

My Hope for You

As I’ve continued my writing career over the years, I’ve learned so much about myself and how strong I am. As a breast cancer survivor, I found my purpose. Not only is it to write contemporary romance and cozy mysteries, but it is also to write my breast cancer story and share with others the importance of having a medical home base, especially if you are an RVer. My hope for you is that you read my writings and learn something you can apply to your own life.

my amazon author page
Breast Cancer, Uncategorized

A Letter to Family and Friends from Us, The Breast Cancer Patients

jskinnell

I am a breast cancer survivor and author of “Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer”. I felt compelled to write a series of blog posts about the breast cancer journey from the patient’s perspective. I’m tackling topics I feel are important to the breast cancer patient. From the breast surgeon, to well-meaning friends and family, to a day in the life of a breast cancer survivor (me), I want to shed light on the reality of breast cancer. If you missed my Letter from the Breast Cancer Patient to the Breast Surgeon, you can find it here.

Dear family and friends,

 We know you mean well, but there are just some things that are better left unsaid or at least thought about first when speaking your loved one who is dealing breast cancer.

There are also topics we would really like to discuss, but you are uncomfortable talking about. I get that. It can be uncomfortable. But guess what, having breast cancer isn’t comfortable either.

Keep reading because we also have a list of things you can do to help us.

Here is a list of things you should not say to the breast cancer patient

  • Did you get breast cancer from the Covid vaccine? This was asked of me by two people, and the answer is no! Breast cancer has been around a lot longer than the Covid vaccine.
  • How are you doing? Okay, I get that you’re being polite by asking a breast cancer patient this question. However, do you really want to know the answer? Because I’m going to guess that you want us to say “I’m fine” when we’re really not. The response we want to say is, “I’m doing well aside from the side effects of the drug I’m taking that has me in menopause for another 5 years at least. And hopefully this drug is killing any cancer cells that may be floating around in my body looking for a new home to try and kill me.”
  • You’ve recovered from surgery to remove the tumor and you’re cured. Celebrate that you’re done with cancer. I’m going to refer you to the answer above for this one because I’m not done.
  • You don’t even look like you’ve been sick. Yeah, some of us don’t look like we’ve been sick, that’s true. See, we’re the “lucky ones” who didn’t lose their hair because of chemo. Again, I’ll refer you to the answer for the second one above. Also, I have a scar from one armpit to the other that will prove otherwise.
  • Your breast cancer is hard on me, and I’m having a hard time supporting you. I’m sorry, it’s hard on you? What do you think the person with cancer is going through?
  • As far as cancer goes, this is a good one to get. Just to be clear, there are no good cancers.
  • When someone tells you they have cancer, please do not list everyone you know who has ever had cancer. For once, it should be about the person telling you they have cancer, not about everyone else.
  • What do you think you did to cause your cancer? Seriously, never ask a breast cancer patient this.
  • Please do not tell your loved one who is going through breast cancer horror stories of others “you know” who’ve had breast cancer. This is neither wanted nor helpful.
  • Please do not offer advice about herbal supplements, foods, or other remedies that “will cure your cancer”. Not helpful.
  • I understand what you’re going through. Unless you’ve been diagnosed, had treatment, surgery, etc., you don’t know how we feel.
  • This one comes from a close friend whose cancer has spread to her bones and she is now terminal. “People should let a cancer patient with terminal diagnosis talk about death.  All I get from 2 close girlfriends and my sister are, ‘Why are you talking about that, you’re going to live a long time’. … Well I’ve got a 5 yr average life expectancy and I’m year 2.  ‘Well who’s counting?’.  I AM!   I just wish these people would let us talk!”

Basically, a woman diagnosed with breast cancer feels like she’s just been hit by a truck. This was totally unexpected, and the idea of having to make the tough decisions regarding surgery and treatment is exhausting. We don’t want pity, but we do want you to be caring, compassionate, and sensitive.

Here are some ways you can help

  • What are you hungry for? This is especially for during treatment/surgery/recovery.  An offer to bring dinner is always helpful.
  • Listen and do not interrupt. Sometimes we just need to vent and get it out of our head.
  • As with the first one, offer to bring food, dining gift cards, and chocolate—lots of chocolate!
  • Offer to help by cleaning the house, running errands, taking them to appointments. It takes quite a while for a breast cancer patient to regain their strength and energy.
  • Can I add you to my prayer chain list? Prayer can be powerful, and even the thought of someone caring enough to add a patient to their prayer chain can be uplifting.
  • Can I sit with you during your treatment? This is especially true for someone going through chemo treatments which can be upwards of 8 hours.
  • Can I tend to your garden, mow your lawn, etc? It’s bad enough that the patient is going through breast cancer, if they are an avid gardener and see their garden start to deteriorate, that can have a negative effect on them emotionally. Seeing their garden thriving can also raise their spirits.
  • Can I make a library run for you? As patients go through treatment, surgery, and recovery, they have a lot of empty time on their hands. A good book can help pass the time.
  • Offer to give the primary caregiver a break. At some point in the process every breast cancer patient requires help and emotional support. This usually comes from their primary caregiver. Offering to help for even a few hours gives the caregiver time to get reenergized so they can be the best caregiver they can be.

As you can see, it takes a lot to get a breast cancer patient from diagnosis through surgery, treatment, and into recovery mode. Care, compassion, and sensitivity are so important to a successful emotional, physical, and mental outcome for us.

Love,

Your family member or friend with breast cancer.

Additional Resources

“Don’t Wait”: A story of a breast cancer survivor’s courage to follow her heart and intuition.
Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer
Breast Cancer, Uncategorized

A letter from the Breast Cancer Patient to the Breast Surgeon

jskinnell

I am a breast cancer survivor and author of “Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer”. I felt compelled to write a series of blog posts about the breast cancer journey from the patient’s perspective. Over the next few posts I’ll be tackling topics I feel are important to the breast cancer patient. From the breast surgeon, to well-meaning friends and family, to a day in the life of a breast cancer survivor (me), I want to shed light on the reality of breast cancer. Just because I’ve recovered from surgery, that doesn’t mean I’m done. First up is this letter to the breast surgeon.

This letter to the surgeon isn’t based on my experience, because I was truly blessed to have an amazing surgeon and team. No, this letter is in response to so many who have not been so blessed. A good doctor/patient relationship is so important and so is empathy.

Dear Breast Surgeon,

Please try to remember that I am scared. I’ve just gone through my regular mammogram and received the call to do the follow-up. After the follow-up, the radiologist wanted to do an ultrasound.

The nurse navigator said that based on the ultrasound, I needed to come back for a biopsy and to meet with you, the breast surgeon.

My family and I are scared. We know nothing about breast cancer, the type, all the different acronyms that come with it, the kind of surgery that I need to choose—none of it. All we know is that I’ll be having a biopsy after our visit.

You are the person with all the answers to questions we don’t even know to ask yet. You are also the person I am supposed to trust with my life if I require surgery.

At this stage, I need you to be caring and compassionate. I haven’t even met you yet, but that is what I need you to be as I sit on the exam table waiting for you to do a very personal exam to see if you can feel the small tumor that the radiologist saw on my imaging.

What I want is for you to treat me like a person and not a number. I’m sure you’ve had many patients, and we are all different. But I can tell you this, we all want you to show us empathy—because we are all scared.

This may seem like an everyday occurrence to you, doctor. But it’s not for us— your patients. We are terrified that the biopsy results will come back positive for some type of cancer that we don’t yet understand.

Then, when this does indeed happen, we are told not to google anything. So we don’t. We have our list of questions ready when you call to tell us the results. Because, for some of us, we find out the results on our patient portal before you call us.

What we expect from you is that you will take the time, either by phone or during our surgical consult, to answer them. Please remember—we are terrified. You are the person who can calm our fears, answer our questions, and explain our options in terms we can understand.

Most of all—respect our treatment options and decisions. If we choose to have a bilateral mastectomy with aesthetic flat closure even if we have only one small tumor, respect our decision.

And here’s why. By now, I would hope that you would know enough about me, the patient, to know how I want to live my life, what my goals are, and what is important to me. See, these are the questions you should be asking me.

Why should you, the doctor, listen to me, the patient? After all, I’m not the one who spent years in medical school. I am, however, the one who is coming to you because of your years in medical school and training. My hope is that during those years, you also had training on how to be caring and compassionate.

The doctor/patient relationship is so important to the patient. I would hope it is important to the doctor as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

Sincerely,

The patient you haven’t yet met

Additional Resources

“Don’t Wait”: A story of a breast cancer survivor’s courage to follow her heart and intuition.
Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer
Breast Cancer

“Don’t Wait”: A story of a breast cancer survivor’s courage to follow her heart and intuition.

jskinnell

I recently had the honor of being a guest on Dr. Deepa Halaharvi’s The Breast Cancer Podcast. Along with my breast surgeon, Dr. Mark Cripe, we discussed how we navigated my diagnosis, treatment, and recovery, all with the ultimate goal of getting back to living my full-time RV life.

With my book, Don’t Wait – Our Full-time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer, as our guide, we talked about the importance of knowing your body, not waiting if you think something has been missed, and how vitally important it is to have a great doctor/patient relationship.

I hope you’ll give this podcast a listen with the link below and share it with others who may be dealing with something similar. I want to spread the message that what we are dealing with is normal in a very abnormal situation that none of us asked to be in.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-breast-cancer-podcast/id1565403179?i=1000660119058

Also, please check out my book, Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer, for more on how my husband and I dealt with this unexpected diagnosis while living full-time in our 41-ft. fifth wheel.

Other posts about my breast cancer journey

Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer
Empower Your Life: My Writing Process and Breast Cancer Journey/Interview with Kacey Sophia
red rose flowers bouquet on white surface beside spring book with click pen and cup of cofffee
Inspirational Writings, Uncategorized

Empower Your Life: My Writing Process and Breast Cancer Journey/Interview with Kacey Sophia

jskinnell

I had the pleasure of doing an Instagram Live with Kacey Sophia this week. We talked all about my writing process, my contemporary romance series, and how I came to write Don’t Wait – Our Full-time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer.

I loved using this platform to share my message of Don’t Wait to enhance, change, and maybe even save your life.

Give it a watch and then click on the link below to check out all 7 books I currently have available on Amazon Kindle Unlimited, ebook, and paperback.

Quick Link to My Books On Amazon

Inspirational Writings, Uncategorized

What is Your Purpose?

jskinnell

What is your purpose?

I used to struggle with this question. What had I done in my life that was worth that word?

When our children were grown and had their own successful lives, I thought my purpose must have been to raise them to be just that—successful members of society.

Okay, I could live with that. However, I still had a lot of my life left to live.

I began a quilting business making memory quilts for others out of their relative’s precious items.

Okay, maybe that was my purpose.

Then we sold our home and moved into a 41 ft. fifth wheel RV. I could no longer have my quilting business, so that purpose was no longer an option.

Along with this I began writing contemporary romance novels and cozy mystery novels. I could, and did, continue writing novels while traveling.

Since we were traveling the country, I began writing about our travels. The Rambling Quilter Travel Blog was born, and I also began writing for other publications.

Okay, maybe being a travel blogger was my purpose—telling others about amazing places they could visit.

Now I’m thinking my purpose was to write, whether it be about our travels or novels for others to read and enjoy. However, there were so many novelists and travel bloggers out there. What was I bringing to the table that was so unique?

Then May 2023 changed it all. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and had to quickly figure out what we were going to do, where we were going to stay, and how long before we could get back to living the life we’d been enjoying for five years.

Two weeks post-surgery at 3:30 in the morning, I found my purpose. I woke up with the idea for Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer in my head. I immediately began writing the Introduction.

When I was diagnosed, I needed a “why” for this happening to me. This book, my story, and my ability to share it with others was my “why”. There are so many out there who are going through something similar, and I wanted to let them know that what they were dealing with was “normal in a very abnormal” situation.

This is my purpose. To share my story with anyone who will listen. Don’t wait to do whatever it is you want to do in life. Don’t wait to take care of those medical appointments and screenings that just might save your life. Don’t wait for “the right time”, because that time may never come.

We’ve all heard that tomorrow is not promised. That may sound cliche, but it is true. I never thought I’d be diagnosed with something that didn’t run in my family, but I was. I never thought I’d have to make the tough decisions about surgery, treatment, and recovery, but I did.

We all have a purpose in life. The trick is to find out what it is. Finally, at the age of sixty, I can say that spreading my Don’t Wait message is my purpose.

My new book, Don’t Wait – Our Full-Time RV Journey Through Breast Cancer tells my story. It is now available in paperback and ebook on Amazon with the link below, and in ebook on Barnes & Noble here, and Apple ebooks here.

If you are struggling to find your own purpose, don’t give up. It will happen when you least expect it (maybe at 3:30 in the morning), but it will happen. We’ve all been placed on this earth for a purpose.

If you’ve found your purpose, I’d love to hear from you. If I’ve learned one thing from my journey, it is that we all have a story to tell.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this post.

Inspirational Writings, Uncategorized

What 2023 Taught Me

jskinnell

As 2023 comes to a close, I thought I’d reflect on what I learned this year.

1. No matter how much you plan, God is ready to give you a new plan.

If you’ve followed me on social media, then you know that my husband and I live full-time in an RV. As a result, we plan our stays about a year out.

Such was the case in 2023, but God had other plans.

2. Be flexible.

As a result of Number 1, I learned quickly that you need to be flexible. Most of the time things aren’t going to go the way you planned, so instead of driving yourself crazy, be ready to be flexible.

3. Besides family, friends are like gold.

Cherish your family and friends. When you need them the most, they’ll be there for you in a heartbeat.

4. Don’t second-guess yourself.

Go with your gut. I think this is God’s way of telling you this is the path he wants you to take.

There were only two times in my life when God’s nudge was enough to push me over. One was is 2016, and you can read about it here, and the other was in 2023. Listen!

If I hadn’t listened to that little voice (aka God) telling me to get my mammogram five months early, I wouldn’t have had the awesome medical team I had, nor would I have had the successful outcome I had.

5. Have goals.

Whether they are small or large, goals are important. My husband and I had a goal of attending the Tournament of Roses Parade Festivities at the end of 2023. This goal weighed heavily in my decisions during my treatment and recovery.

Conclusion

Throughout this year and especially during my breast cancer journey, these five things got me through 2023.

Inspirational Writings

What’s in Your Book of Life?

jskinnell

NOTE: I wrote this originally in July of 2016 on my other blog site, The Rambling Quilter, and thought it was interesting that it is still relevant today. This isn’t meant to be a religious discussion—more of something for you to ponder as you live your life. What is in your Book of Life? How can you make your Book of Life more of what you’d like your life to be? Are you waiting until “the right time” to do something or see something or go somewhere you’ve always wanted?

If so, this post may make you rethink that decision to wait. We aren’t guaranteed the next minute, let alone “the right time”. Make sure your Book of Life is full of everything you’ve wanted to experience.

What would your Book of Life be like?

From The Rambling Quilter, July 2016

Recently I saw a show about how the Smithsonian Museum is restoring the Jefferson Bible. I had not heard of the Jefferson Bible, and I found this program completely fascinating. Jefferson painstakingly cut apart bibles in several different languages to create his version of Jesus’ life without all the miracles and his ascension.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the Book of Life were like that—only in reverse? We could keep all the happy and wonderful parts and discard all the bad.

I had a chance meeting with my aunt and uncle at Panera for breakfast. I’ll never forget the huge hug she gave me or her telling me that she wanted all her nieces and nephews to connect. It never crossed our mind that she’d pass away after a tragic car accident a couple of weeks later.

She got her wish. For two days we gathered, reminiscing about growing up with our beloved aunt and catching up on what our families were doing. Many of us realized that we hadn’t seen each other in twenty years or more. We all had families of our own and time really got away from us. It was so nice reconnecting and remembering that my family was so much bigger than just those I spent the most time with. That part I would keep in my Book of Life.

At the same time, though, we were saying goodbye to an aunt we all truly loved. I saw my mom, aunt, and uncle say goodbye to their baby sister. I saw my three cousins say goodbye to their mom. And I saw my uncle say goodbye to the love of his life of forty years. I would love to cut this part out of my Book of Life.

There are so many good things going on in the world that are too often overshadowed by events we have absolutely no control over.

I realize that it is totally unrealistic to have a Book of Life that is only happy, wonderful events. We’ve all heard that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Well, right now I’d say he must think we are some pretty strong people because he’s giving us a lot.

Even though my Book of Life is still overflowing with wonderful moments, these are the occasional events that God thinks I can handle that really test me.

My aunt’s family’s wish in lieu of flowers was that we hug our loved ones every day. As we witnessed, life is short and you just don’t know when it will be the last page of your own personal Book of Life.

As I said before, I wrote this back in 2016 right after my beloved aunt’s funeral. Since then, I’ve written six novels, and many blog posts, and my husband and I have sold our home and begun traveling the country in our RV. We work from the road and do, see, and go everywhere we can to experience as much as we can. We chose NOT to wait until “the right time.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts. My hope is this post inspires you to experience something new, even if it’s right outside your front door.

How will your Book of Life read? Make it amazing!